Sometimes life sucks

There's something you should know about me. I'm a dreamer. I have been for as long as I can remember and part of me hopes I always will be. But right now, being a dreamer is eating me up from the inside out. I set the bar too high for myself and I can't quite meet those expectations. 
I had a dream a few nights ago that I had mens genitals. I woke up embarrassed, questioning what on earth was wrong with me. Turns out it means: "I'm having trouble achieving what I want to in life and wish I could be more forceful to attain what I wish." That's me all over. I'm a free spirit, and as much as I make out like I'm a fearless piece of shit, a hell of a lot scares me.
This week I let go of my first love. And I'll tell you what, it hurts like hell. And the shitty part? I couldn't be happy with him, and I'm still not happy without him. Why does life do that to us? He's the one guy in this world I know would do absolutely anything for me. Absolutely anything. And I pushed him away. And for that I hate myself. Not a single fibre of my being feels malice towards him. He's my childhood sweetheart and it's hard to imagine a future with someone else when it was always them that was there.
I feel lost, and I think I've felt lost for a lot longer than I care to admit, through my own doing, nobody else's. But having someone by my side made it slightly more bearable. Now it's just me. Little Lindsey Pritchard with all these whopping great dreams and no idea where to start. Maybe a list would be good. And I don't know if it's the heartache talking, but something tells me our story isn't over yet. I just need to find happiness in myself first.
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My favourite iPhone apps

So I upgraded to the iPhone 6 yesterday and I thought I'd share the first five apps I downloaded before the app store decided to stop working today (I'm starting to get the shakes at not being able check the new arrivals on the H&M app). 

1) Instagram came first, naturally. Out of all the social media's, this one's the top dog in my eyes. I. Am. Obsessed. One of my favourite accounts is courtneybabyccino. She posts so many beautiful photos of her family of six and their London life. I don't think I could go a day without checking Instagram, materialistic I know, but that's the sad world we live in.

2. Second came Facebook, because well it's Facebook.

3. Evernote was next, because I feel the need to constantly be making lists, or checking lists for everything. I have a list for blog posts, homeware I want to buy and all our bills, along with about a million others at the moment.

4. My favourite photo editing app has to be Afterlight. I've not used anything else for a long while, and I especially love that I can make my own filters with the Fusion option. I only wish there was the option to create collages and then I'd be a really happy bunny.

5. Everything I do on ebay now I do on my phone. I had a load of listings finishing on there tonight so obviously needed to check on them. I find it just so much quicker and easier to create new listings on the app than it is on the website nowadays.

Closely followed by... Twitter, Youtube and Halifax. And then H&M when it actually decides to work. What are you're favourite apps? Any goodies I should download?

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Geometric prints

H&M top

River Island skirt

H&M boots

H&M bag [old]
Primark sunglasses

I left the house today without a jacket or coat. That's what I like to call a step in the right direction. I'm not brave enough for no tights just yet but we'll get there. 

I couldn't find this top online, and they didn't have many left in store when I bought it. It's just one of those prints that's so eye catching. I'm so into the 70's trend at the moment, which I never thought I would be - I've even bought in imitation brown suede skirt with buttons all down the front. Now if that doesn't scream 70's to you then I don't know what does. But keep your eyes peeled for that in my Spring Lookbook video.

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The Five Product Face

Base: Topshop BB cream in Light

Cheeks: Max Factor Miracle Touch Cream blush in Soft Pink

Brows: Me Me Me Arch Angel in Dark Brown

Eyes: Benefit They're Real

Lips: MAC Chatterbox Lipstick

On a day to day basis I'm normally in work by 7.00am, or 7.30am at the latest so I've become quite accustomed to early starts. This also means squeezing in a quick make up routine so I can spend more time eating breakfast (or sometimes sleeping). Disclaimer: This won't work miracles, I tend to look rough 95% of the time when I'm at work.
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The Sunday Post: Nothing to report

... so here's a picture of my bear in an Ikea bag.

The title of this post was a bit misleading, I do like to have a good natter on a Sunday night, as you may have noticed. I went to Ikea with Mum and Dad today to pick up the new bed for our spare room. I also bought my first toolbox! How I've managed to assemble all the flatpack furniture these last two years with just a screwdriver is beyond me. Now I have a hammer and a few other things that I can't remember what they are in my arsenal there's nothing stopping me!

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Things I love to buy, but don't need

Is it sad that I buy myself flowers often on a weekly basis? They end up on the shopping list every week because I can't bear to not have at least one bunch around the house. At the moment I favour daffodils, but I'm holding out a couple more months until it's peony season.  

I placed an order for new bedding for the spare room a few weeks ago and I'm not one bit guilty about the five cushions I ordered. Excessive, maybe, but just look how pretty they all are. Needless to say I have a bit of a thing for bedding. I quite often have to have a quiet word with myself in the middle of Primark that I don't need a set of bedding with pineapples on it.

Rings are something I love love love to buy but in fact rarely wear. I only buy cheap ones from Primark or H&M, but I always forget to put them on or just don't like wearing them for work incase I ruin them. 

My love for stripes is no secret but I just can't help myself. A breton stripe is just a timeless classic and just gravitate towards them. This little H&M number is my current favourite.

I've got that many trinkets and candles now that I've actually started to tissue wrap some away in boxes and get them out on rotation. Put it this way, I definitely need more shelf space in more than one room.

I've got a drawer full of empty notebooks in my office, yet if I find another I like I can't stop myself. One person does not need 10 notebooks, I need to remind myself this from time to time. I absolutely love this Martha Stewart one from Staples.

  

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The Sunday Post: March, I'm ready

March has creeped up like a thief in the night and I'm bloomin' excited for it! The weather may have not have been the best start to March so filming for my Spring Lookbook had to be put on hold, but I'm hoping for better days. I'm planning on having the Lookbook uploaded by the end of March at the very latest, but my sister thinks I should upload a different video before that, maybe a facts about me video. What do you think?

I've got a week off work coming up and I'm going to spend it sorting out my spare room. At the moment it's a place to dump things and I really want that to change. I'm buying the Ikea Hemnes Day Bed and a new TV stand for starters. Oh I'm so excited!

My sister and I have planned a little trip to London in the middle of the month. Sometimes that yearning for the city builds up and builds up and you just gotta satisfy them needs. I also need to visit H&M Home. 

Let me know if you've got any exciting plans for March! 

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